Mrs. Clean

I am the cleanest I've been in months. I've showered the last four days in a row people! It's some kind of Christmas miracle. Especially today - it's only 7 am and I'm showered, dressed, teeth brushed, blogging. I'm feeling lucky. I bet I'll be able to vacuum (FINALLY!) and go grocery shopping today too.

Just had to share with someone else besides Rio. Not that she should be complaining about cleanliness. Even though she was groomed and bathed by Mr. Jon two weeks ago, her fur has already gone from white to grey and she smells like bacon grease again.

Sorry!

I had intended to post today about some of my favorite outtake photos, but Jon and I put Rylee to bed and watched a movie instead.

And after three nights of staying up past midnight to get holiday chores done, I have decided to go to bed early tonight.

Maybe tomorrow...

Cards!

Christmas cards are trying to kill me this year!

First, I spent three days last week attempting to capture a photo of Rylee and Rio together. Getting an infant to pose is one thing. Adding an uncooperative dog in the mix makes it impossible! And just because I love frustration, there was even a trio attempt: Rylee, Rio & Angel. What's a word for more than impossible? We'll go with INSANITY for now! Even with Mom's help, there weren't enough hands to rattle ornaments and strategically place cheese balls to get any combo photos that were card worthy. I did, however, wind up with a great blooper reel. I'll attempt to post an outtakes slideshow tonight if I can stay awake long enough.

Second, I made the mistake of ordering a 5 X 8 card this year since I could only narrow down my favorite Rylee shots to 3. Attempting to fold the Christmas newsletter into the corresponding envelope was an origami nightmare. I finally gave up and went with a double half fold. Not as pretty, but it allowed me to not take the Lord's name in vain. (I'm guessing that wouldn't have been in the spirit of Christmas.)

Third, I may be dying of envelope adhesive poisoning like George Costanza's fiancee. I licked over 100 envelopes today. I've brushed my teeth twice but I can still taste glue and my tongue seems extra sticky.

All I need to do tomorrow is add the stamps and get them in the mail. They are adorable (not that I'm biased in any way)!

Christmas is All Around

In the immortal word of Billy Mack...

I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes,
Christmas is all around me,
and so the feeling grows

It's written in the wind,
It's everywhere I go,
So if you really love Christmas,
C'mon and let it snow?

Ah, Love Actually , one of my fave Christmas movies...

But I am feeling Christmas all around: our cards are almost ready to be mailed, the majority of gifts have been purchased (with a little help from Santa's favorite workshop: Kohls) and a few have even been wrapped. I already mentioned the twinkle lights and the increased egg nog consumption.

No idea where I'm going with this post actually. I have no real point other than I've been humming that song all day.

"This is *crap*, isn't it? Yep, solid gold *crap*, maestro!"

Simpson, eh?

Rylee discovered her hands a few weeks ago and I love watching her little hand gestures (no, she hasn't been flipping the bird). She mostly likes them clasped together. Lately, she's been "steepling" them and tapping her fingers together ala Mr. Burns. Aaaah....

I won't bore you with more stories tonight. Rylee's asleep. Jon's asleep. Rio's asleep. The house is dark except for the twinkling Christmas lights and the glow of the flat screen. I'm going to be totally self-indulgent and just watch some TV. Aaaah again...

Randomness

1) I'm bothered by that car commercial where it's raining shoes. I just keep thinking how ridiculous it is. Aside from the obvious, how does the chick know what size they are or if she's getting matched pairs? Not to mention taking a 3 inch spiked heel to the head would be the ultimate in "shoehail" damage.

2) My Mom has an interesting way of turning a phrase so sometimes what she means to say is skewed by the way she says it. Here are some disturbing things my Mom has said lately about Rylee:
- "I have to touch her nipples." She was referring to making her a bottle, thank God. :)
- "It's time to put her to sleep." Again, thankfully she was referring to her nap and not euthanasia.

3) I've been thinking about Boy Scouts lately. (Not in some sleazy way... better watch my Momish phrasing.) I was thinking about their knot tying badge or whatever. I was wondering if the Girl Scouts had a folding badge. If they did, I would never earn it. I absolutely cannot, no matter how many times someone shows me how, fold a fitted sheet. I consider myself a fairly intelligent and coordinated person, but I try tucking the corner into the corner thing and it still looks like a balled up lumpy mess which I end up hiding underneath my nicely folded flat sheet. I also cannot fold those sun visor things for your windshield. Once it's unfurled I just end up tossing the whole thing into the back seat. (Truth be told I'm pretty sure I wouldn't rock at the knot tying either.)

4) Are all dogs addicted to egg nog? My first dog Dancer, a long-haired Chihuahua, once stuck her entire head into a glass just to drink it. She tried to look innocent when caught, but the egg nog smears in her hair kind of gave her away. Rio not only comes a running, but will actually snuggle up to me for minutes on end (very rare indeed) in her pursuit of its deliciousness. Nog bribery really helps us bond during the holiday season...

OMG...

So I know all mother's have nights like these, but it was just so hilarious that it has to be told. It went something like this...


After her prune juice, Rylee spit up all over her outfit and had to be changed.

New pajamas on, she puked up again. Change #2.

New pajamas on, she puked up again only this time on my shirt. I changed. We'll still call that change #3.

Bad poop a while later (Rylee, not me). Yep, she got it on the pjs. Change #4.

Liquid poop a while later (still Rylee). You guessed it - change #5.
She was sitting on my lap when it happened so she got it on my pants too. Change #6.

Another spit up on her pjs and my shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're just gonna have to live with it... there's no more clean clothes anyway.

Oh, and tomorrow, no prune juice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*Don't fret. Rylee's fine. I'm just obsessive about changing her out of spit-upy clothes even if it's just a little bit. In retrospect, not always a good thing to rush into that changing... :)*