Splat!

Apparently I have angered the avian population. Today when I came out after work, I was aghast to see that my SUV had suffered a full on poop assault. You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. There was poop splattered on the hood, the roof, the side doors, and the back hatch. The cars parked on either side of me... completely clean. I did see a dead bird on the playground today, but I had nothing to do with the kill. Tomorrow I'm going to make sure to explain myself to the wind and hope that the word carries.

As long as we're on the topic of poo already, I thought I would share my I-almost-pulled-a-Jess-and-pooped-myself story. After my very wet and unpleasant Camp Creepy experience a couple of weeks back, the Girl Scouts sent me a thank you and $15 Starbucks card. I'm not a coffee drinker at all, but we have a Starbucks at our Target so I grabbed myself a Pumpkin Spice Latte while there running my errands. It was delicious!

Twenty minutes later, however, I was starting to feel a rumbling in my tummy. Uh oh. My cart was loaded with groceries and I still had to hit the produce section. I briefly considered abandoning my cart and hitting the restroom, but instead I just rushed through my shopping (guess I won't be eating any healthy produce this week) and headed for the checkouts. To my luck, I was the second person in line and it was a short drive back home. I made it with no time to spare!

Do they lace those things with laxatives? I guess I know how my husband stays so regular. Maybe I'll have to become a coffee drinker after all!

Return of the Klopeks

Jinkies! It seems I'm not the only one who likes Scooby Doo. You remember the Klopeks? The Czech family that obsessively gardens in their pajamas. Well, yesterday they were at it again. Mrs. Klopek was wearing a Tweety bird nightshirt that barely came to her thighs. (I'm hoping there were short shorts hidden under there, but I doubt it.) Mr. Klopek was sporting a white wife beater tank top and for shorts... wait for it... Scooby Doo boxers with Valentine's Day hearts!

Not that I should talk after yesterday. In the morning, there was a car accident right in front of our house. Some lady hit a parked car (that was on the other side of the street from the lane she should have been driving in, not sure what happened there.) Of course, all of us nosy neighbors ran out to see what happened... I mean to see if we could be of any assistance. I was barefoot and wearing short shorts and a pink tank top. Definitely clothes of the lounging quality, not suitable for wear in public. Worse yet, my hair was plastered to my head, tangled and misshapen from wearing it smushed underneath my Daphne wig the night before. Jon was shirtless, barefoot, and holding Rio in his arms. We were definitely rivaling the Klopeks for strange wear. But the difference is, we eventually went inside and cleaned up. They spent all day like that - gardening in their front yard!

Some people give Scooby Doo a bad name.

P.S.

Jon decided to join the land of the living. He just walked to the stairwell and announced: "Pancakes! The Donger needs food!"

What do you think? Should he keep the 'stache?

Zoinks!

The night in pictures:

Scooby Doo is my all-time favorite cartoon and I've always wanted to be Daphne for Halloween. Guess I can cross one more thing off my "to-do-before-I-die" list.

The Pistol temporarily standing in for Shaggy since the hubby and I went solo on the costumes this year.

Juan Cinco instead transformed himself into Juan Tequila. He made sure the night was a poppin' good time.

The nations of Mexico and Germany bonding over their mutual appreciation for alcoholic elixirs.

The Jer-Bear ala Reno 911. No costume shop props for him: the billy club, handcuffs and XTS3000 radio - all legit. Sometimes it pays to work for Motorola.

Later in the evening, he found someone to assist in his crime-fighting action. Though I'm not too sure this Security Guard would have been much help. Looks like he attended the Barney Fife training academy.

The night's costumes also included a pirate wench, a hippie chick, a renaissance girl, a dark angel, and Towelie from South Park, but I didn't want to post pics without their permission. If you would like your photo added, please email me your signed media release form. :)

As you can see, a great time was had by all. It was a smaller group than usual - we missed those of you who couldn't attend this year... especially you, Ryan. The night just wasn't the same without your "Flair." But we had new faces too. Thanks for putting up with our hijinks - we hope to see you again next year!

(Be sure to check out 21 Days from my links. I'm sure she'll have stories and photos posted soon as well.)

Friggin' Tired

The best laid plans...

Yesterday, I made mention that today I would clean the house. Well, I forgot to take into account the Higgins' Halloween Par-tay last night. We stumbled out at 2:30 am (a fact that Jon could not grasp). Here's a sample of our conversation on the drive home. You can insert "yes, yep, ya huh" for my answers to his first ten questions.

Jon: "it's 2:30 in the morning?... I haven't been up this late in years... it's 2:30 in the morning?... we were there for over seven hours?... I can't believe it's 2:30 in the morning... I wasn't wearing a watch... if you'd have asked me what time it was I would have said 11:30... wow, it's 2:30 in the morning..."

Me: "shut up, now it's 2:45..."

After a 4 hour nap, I am up because Rio demands it. Right now, I believe she is downstairs demanding that Jon get up too. Good luck with that, Rio. The last time I poked in he said: "au-to-mobile.... lake....big lake" aka Long Duck Dong in Sixteen Candles. I think that translates to I'm tired and I'm a bit hungover.

Anyway, I need to get all the photos uploaded and edited. I'll post the pics and full play by play of our costumed antics later... :)

Friggin' Lazy

So I finally have a relatively un-busy weekend with plenty of time to get my dang house cleaned. I'm not exaggerating - it really needs it! There is enough hair on the bathroom floor to be considered carpeting. (Yeah, I'm a shedder. That there is any hair left on my head at all is a miracle!) The sink is full of toothpaste and soap stains. It almost made me gag when I was cleaning up this morning. (Any normal person would have, but I have very strong anti-gagging reflexes. For instance: standing next to a fourth grader who is puking into my garbage can? Nothing. Sticking my finger down my throat? Nada. I blame all those strep throat tests I had as a kid, I was a pro at the cotton swab test.)

I was even up at 6:00 am this morning (I went to bed at a respectable 10:15 pm last night), but did I attack my chore list? Of course not! I fast forwarded through two hours of DVR'd programs, hung out with Jon, read, and now I'm wasting time on the computer. Conclusion: I'm just friggin' lazy and that's all there is to it!

Tonight I pray that I'm visited by magical little house elves...

The Price is Right

Today we had a teacher planning day so I was able to get almost everything prepped for next week. It feels glorious to be going into the weekend with so little on my "to do" list.

While working in my classroom, I decided to check out The Price is Right with new host Drew Carey. The Price is Right was always one of my favorite game shows. How could it not be? It's like 50 games shows rolled into one. If I ever got on contest row and then the big stage, there are a few games I would prefer: Plinko (how much fun would it be to drop that little puck between the spokes?); Safe Cracker (where you get to twist the big handles and pull on the ginormous vault door); the mountain man climber (not sure it's official name but the yodeling music cracks me up); and the dice game (when you roll the die and pick higher or lower to determine the price of a car... it's one of the more involved games so you'd get a little more stage time). As an aside, I was never a huge fan of the game where you had to ask "Gentleman, did I get at least one number right?" I did think it was cute, however, when in recent years they changed the wording to "Ladies."

Here are just a few of my random thoughts while watching The Price is Right today:
- T-shirts with homemade slogans, your college logo or your military affiliation (or better yet your entire uniform) are big "ins"
- most of the featured products and prizes are geared toward senior citizens (as are all of the commercials - each break featured at least one arthritis commercial)
- explaining the rules to the contests takes too long (we all know how to play, just get on with it)
- is Wilford (Wilfred?) Brimley still alive? ...if yes, why don't they update his diabetes tester commercial? (diabetes, another big one in the ads department)
- someone out there has a job that entails writing the corny scripts for the Showcase Showdowns
- Drew Carey is not that funny, but he did remind me to have my pets spayed or neutered

Speaking of the Showcase Showdown script, I have to tell you about today's. It was classically cheesy. Maybe that's why they wanted it to go with wine! It featured a Lucile Ball-esque character from the barefoot grape squashing scene. She was creating new wines: Spinfandel (the prize was a washer and dryer); Lardonnay (the prize was a tread mill to help reduce your lard - they actually said that!); and Pinot Greasio (the prize was a car obviously).

I feel sorry for the sad sack that had to write that. I'm sure he/she did need to consume several bottles of wine just to get through it!