I am so delighted that today I was able to partake in the merriment that is holiday shopping at the Sawgrass Mills Mall on a Saturday in December. In case you can't detect sarcasm in the written form, I'm obviously joking.
Any mall is crazy this time of year, but Sawgrass is especially insane. (It is rumored to the be the next largest tourist attraction in the state of Florida after the major theme parks.) I can barely stand shopping there on a normal day, let alone during the holidays, but Jon and I were down to those last couple of gifts that just could not be bought anywhere else.
Amazingly we found a parking space without having to valet park or drive around for half an hour stalking people as they walked to their cars. Based on the cacophony of blaring car horns I heard and wild finger gesturing I saw, other people were obviously not so lucky. Parking is only half the battle, inside you must navigate the treacherous pathways clogged with people and other obstacles like benches, strollers and carts. Forget walking side by side, we alternated taking the lead and NASCAR'd our way through the crowds.
Along the trip, we took in many sight-seeing opportunities. Two of my favorites were the massage chair sleeping zone (just a thought but if you're exhausted enough to sleep in the middle of a crowded mall, it might be time to go home) and the cranky-child-in-stroller pit row (no amount of bribery or sweets was working on these kiddos). In other viewing news - I saw London, I saw France, I saw everybody's under...garments: thongs sticking out of jeans, bras peeking through tops, and full boxer shots from the homies who belt their jeans around their knees (fashions change seasonally so when is that going to out of style?). Nothing says the holidays like scantily clad women, gangsta fashion, and screaming babies over piped in Christmas carols.
People have to get creative to survive in an environment like that. Now I've seen people loaded like pack mules before, and I've even seen parents drop their children into those cloth carts amongst all their other packages (sort of reminds me of when they drop Maggie Simpson into the ball pit to play and she sinks to the bottom), but today was the first time I witnessed bird calling as a navigational shopping strategy. More inventive than yelling someone's name and each call may have carried a different meaning. I would have like to observe her in her natural habitat longer, but as I mentioned, Jon and I were on a mission.
3 hours and only 5 stores later (they were in no geographic proximity to one another so the majority of our shopping excursion was walking), we emerged triumphant. I think we are now 99.9% done with present-buying. Yippee! All that remains is to finish the wrapping, write and mail the Christmas cards, make fudge and cookies....
I can't really complain though, I do love the holidays - Sawgrass Mills and all. :)
4 comments:
We went to Macy's aka Dayton's to see their Xmas display. The 8th floor housed, the elevator stopped at the 5th and a man jumped in the door way and told us the line starts to the left. I asked how long, he looked at me puzzled like he knew how long 3 floors of winding people would be and I clarified with "the wait...how long ?" We were told 1.5 hours...we said no thanks and off we went. I will post more about that adventure tomorrow when I get home but I said I don't even wait 1.5 hours anymore for roller coasters. Bah humbug.
Sawgrass is too crazy on a Saturday this time of year for me. You and Jon deserve badges of honor for braving it.
Brave, brave girl!!! After working retail for a couple of years and having to deal with the mall at Christmas during that time, I NEVER venture near them after Thanksgiving on a weekend or even normal afternoon or evening. If I have to go out, I do it first thing in the morning on a weekday. I have even been known to come into work a few hours late, and then stay late just so I can do that. If I even suggested to my husband that he go to the mall with me at this time of year, he would run screaming out of the house to hide! =)
Ho Ho Ho (oops..Ha Ha Ha!) even Santa needs to be politically correct.
Sounds like your trip to the mall was about as much fun as shutting your head in a car door. That is why I do get stressed around the holidays. But we can bake together...that will be fun.
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