Me: Ow, ow! You're on my hair.
Jon: Ouch! Watch my nipple.
No, you don't have to stop reading for fear of TMI. This isn't an excerpt from some naughty tryst. This is Jon and I trying to survive a love attack from Rio last night.
Back when Rio was just a pup, Jon thought it would be cute to teach her to give me kisses. If he said the word, she would run, find me, and slather my face with licks. Over the years, she expanded the trick into its current nightly routine. Once Jon and I are both in bed and settled in for sleep, she starts her goodnights.
First she starts with me, crawling all around my head to lick from different angles. She particularly likes to lick right near the corners of my eyes. (It's a testament to how much I love her that I am able to endure this nightly.) Then she jumps to Jon (and I do mean jump) which is why sharp nails + bare chest = nipple damage. She tends to concentrate on the back of his ears. Back and forth she leaps several times until she tires and we can fight her off.
You might be thinking that it would be safer for us to retreat under the covers but we would tell you, from experience, that this maneuver is ill advised. It just causes her to dig and scratch ferociously on your head. It's better to lay back and suffer through it.
Are any of you other dog owners battered by such abuse?
3 comments:
The only night time abuse we suffer is Beagle gass. Scooter burrows under the covers each night and commences the nightly ass-ripping. If there's any smell worse than dog fart, it's dog fart wafting up to you through the sheets.
Man, that dog must save up all his stink for bedtime.
That is not abuse, that is puppy love!!! =) Hmm, I guess this is a lesson in be careful what tricks you teach your pets - I will have to remember that for the day when I FINALLY get a dog.
For some reason, it reminds me of "The Wedding Singer" quote, "You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there."
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