Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Missing Elsie

Sometimes I miss my grandmother so much, the wound feels as fresh as the day she died. The holidays are tough of course. I miss calling and asking her whether or not I need to cook her Christmas egg bake covered or uncovered. I never thought to write that down. It was easier to ask. I miss the way she told stories - even the funny ones made her cry. (We're all a bit weepy in my family. I love that about us.)

I have the most beautiful photograph of my grandmother. She's sitting in her kitchen at her usual spot, surrounded by the things she loved, a cup of coffee in front of her weathered hands, and a knowing smile on her face. It reminds me of a little poem she wrote in one of her journals:

My first thought in the morning's light,
Is of some coffee, black and hot.
To me, there is no finer sight,
Than coffee perking in a pot!

You all know I'm not a coffee lover, but what I wouldn't give to walk into my grandmother's kitchen for one more visit.... one more story shared over a cup of coffee. :)

3 comments:

Jess said...

Holidays are always hard when you're missing someone who passed. My grandmother died right before Christmas (during my finals week one year in college, actually -- geez, Grandma, very inconvienent) and I remember how weird that Christmas was.

I'm not much for real life, physical hugs, but I can extend a virtual one: ((HUG))

Anonymous said...

I know how hard it is when we loose someone we love. Just remember that she is always with you wherever you go. Big hug!!!

MN Mom said...

That memory was so sweet. I can't stop missing her and dad too, everyday. And most days I still cry. Like today when I read your blog. Like last night when I got up in the night and drank a glass of water looking at that photo. What I wouldn't give for one more day with them both! So I could ask all the questions and write down all the answers. One more chance to say I'm sorry for whatever I didn't do. A chance to say I love you, so much. And tell them they were the best parents in the whole world. And to just hug them!